Whether the more “proper” among us wants to admit it, or not, everyone blows ass from time to time. Granted, there are some who are way more proficient at it and proud of it than others. Still, there should be some guidelines we can all agree to when it comes to fart protocol. That’s particularly true in a ride-sharing scenario.
When you’re in a Lyft or Uber, you’re in someone else’s personal car. It’s not like it’s a stinky, nasty cab. It’s just different. Since there’s no way to predict when a fart onslaught will be coming on, it’s good to know the proper guidelines to flatulence etiquette in a ride-share situation.
Open The Window –You’ve got the controller next to you. Use it. There’s no excuse for not taking this step. Even if it’s raining or snowing, at least cracking the window before you unleash your crack should be second nature.
Apologize –You’ve opened the window, so you’ve already acknowledged there’s a potential issue afloat. You’re not the first. You won’t be last. But you can be the classiest.
The One-Fart Rule –You’ve got a one-fart allowance, so make the best of it. Get it out of your system, because follow-up squeakers are just rubbing it in…so to speak. Control yourself after that.
Tipping –Your tip should be reflective of your gastrointestinal fortitude. If your butt-blast was enough to have cleared out a football stadium, you’d best believe it’s worth more than 15% to be subjected to it. The driver’s doing you a service…reward them.
(Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images)
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