SO much to get to here. Let's start with the legitimate report from John Luciew at PennLive.com
First, the 38-year-old woman in western Pennsylvania allegedly doused her boyfriend with gasoline and lit him on fire, causing burns to 25 to 35 percent of the man's lower body...
After an untold amount of time, she then attempted to douse the flames with a bucket of urine that the couple used as a toilet in the basement of the home, police told TribLive.com.
Let's move on to Jordie at Barstool. Digital can get mad at me for linking who they consider a competitor, but I simply can't put it any better than this.
First and foremost, I just assume that all Yinzers have a bucket of urine in their basement they use as a toilet...That’s just the Yinzer life. One moment you’re cheering on a sexual predator while thinking you’ve reinvented sports fandom because you guys invented the “towel”. The next moment you’re facing homicide charges because you tried to settle an argument by lighting your boyfriend on fire in his sleep.
Some bragging rights for Northeastern Ohio, right? At least until September 10.